you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
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Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
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But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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