too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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