I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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