Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
third nipple confirmed
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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