I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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