I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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