even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
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Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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