my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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