Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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