Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
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She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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