Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
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he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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