Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
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If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
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I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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