There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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