he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
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no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
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Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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