It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
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