already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize