Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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