Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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