is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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