1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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