i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
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I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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