it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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