Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
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How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
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I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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