Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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