Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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