Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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