My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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