I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
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Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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