Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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