I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
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He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize