jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize