went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
did i walk over a car last night?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize