He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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