Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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