after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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