If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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