Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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