I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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