Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
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I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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