***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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