New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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