Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize