Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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