3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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