Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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