You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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