he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize