college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize