these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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