I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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